Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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