omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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