She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
