DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My bed smells like the plague
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
