So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
