So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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