Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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