i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
