trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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