It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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