He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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