That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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