Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
