Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize