Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
