Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
