i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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