i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
