Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
