I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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