I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
