What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
