shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
