I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
