I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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