Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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