woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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