Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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