I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
