and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize