Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can I color on your dick again?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
