Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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