He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
