My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
