just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
