He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
