Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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