how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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