This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
