in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
