I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Houston, we have a squirter
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize