At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
