i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
