So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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