party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
