you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
is it fun? or sober?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
