Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
