hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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