Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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