I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
