I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
