Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
