Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
