And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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