ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
