I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
