I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize