yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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