What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
