You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
